Because its empty...

[Ulf]

The as of yet unnamed protagonist breathed a heavy sigh of relief and continued to climb the mounttain stumbleing in the dark. Before long he was acosted buy a hooded figure holding a puffin on a string. "You are to be giving me that chalace, as you are not manly enough to be handeling it's cheesyness!"

[Ranan]

"NAY!" Says the hero. "This task has been thrown onto me! I folishly accepted and I shall foolishly complete this task, and no man nor woman, nor hooded creature shall take this Cheese from me!" The hero stood his ground, the dark hooded creature reached into his cloak and brought forth the ultimate weapon, A slightly salted pretzel...perfect for dipping!

[Rhunya]

With his evil, pretzel-influenced gaze, he began melting the lactose chalice, readying his pretzel for the ultimate dip into the cheese of power.

[Ulf]

With a greedy cackle the old hooded fellow thrust his pretzel at our beloved hero's cheese chalice! Thinking quickly, our queso champion pulled from his pocket his great grandmothers lucky bowl of mustard. "Nooooo, well, actually, mustard's not so bad" squeaked the puffin as the old man lay on the ground sobbing like a ninny. "don't be silly" remarked our lovable protagonist as he hit the man in the head with a lemon and continued up the mountain. Little did he know, that this would come back to bite him, much like the bite of a spicy mustard.

[Kai_the_Con_Hobo]

For the lemon had indeed been the earthly form of the mystical sprite Yer Owta'luuk, which had been the only thing standing between our foppish hero and certain destruction for so many years. Without its munificent protection the Dark Things Which Lurk In Shadows Until Terrifying Reveals began to scent our hero's blood. And cheese. And maybe a few remaining traces of mustard.

(A month and a half later, but I wasn't around for the first run-through, dangit!)

[StitchesBloodwing]

and thus the hero became surrounded by these nasty creatures with no porper name, and he quaked in his boots. A bright light flashed around them and a large doughnut rolled atop these shadows, crushe=ing them and surroundig the hero in leyers of creamy chocolatey goodness.

[omniwulf]

With the disturbance of the massive doughnut, deep underground the chocolate river began to flow. Rising quickly it gushed out of the earth near our hero. Thinking quickly lest he drown in this wave of chocolate flowing at him, he jumps onto the massive doughnut with cheesy chalice in hand to try to surf the river flowing at him.

[Ulf]

Fearing he would never reach the summit for whatever purpous he was origionaly going up there for, the hero sighed a long sigh and remembered his mothers advice well. "Don't eat it if it will kill you!" she used to say to him. Nodding a most symbolic nod, he closed his eyes and sipped the sacred cheese.

Immediately he sprouted six wings from his back! One was an angel wing, and one was a deamon wing, and one was a skeliton wing, and one went like this, and one went like that, and another went like this, and they all had better be on his badge or he's not paying for it! He then took to the skys, climbing the mountain by air. All was well untill a dark shadow covered his face.

[Ranan]

Our hero had known that this moment would come. The last of the treacherous challenges of Mt. Godyouguysaremakingmehungry. The final battle, The dreaded flying biscuit of deliciousness. The biscuit loomed over our hero, it's menacing flakey crust crumbling over our hero's 6 wings...no more...no less. The Biscuit opened it's flakey crust and spoke, "You shall not escape me hero. Your chalise of cheese is no match for my cranberry apple butter! With this The biscuit lunged the delicious sweet red sauce at our hero covering 4 of his six wings rendering the rest useless.

[RaggedyHatter]

Our hero stood awestruck at the delciousness of the topping and threw away his chalice of curdled dairy product and exclaimed unto the heavens, "this is bunk..." and decided to abandon his quest in hopes of finding employment in a less dangerous field that involves less of a galactic food fight. He set off for greener pastures and found a signpost with a quest offering! "What rapturous jubilation!" exclaimed our road-weary adventurer as he made his way to the farmer's humble ranch.

Upon arrival our hero greeted the farmer, who received him warmly. The farmer inquired as to the traveller's name. Our hero sulked visibly, for he'd not been given a name from the elder gods who so guided him through his trials and tribulations. And never to fish and chips.